Discover how to fight for joy by focusing on your relationship with Jesus and others. Don’t let comparison and self-doubt steal your joy.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12
They say the thief of joy is comparison — but ultimately it’s self. Envying what someone else has leads to discontentment. But envy is a symptom of self.
The most miserable people are the ones focused only on themselves. When people struggle to see outside of themselves, their problems seem so much bigger. When someone’s entire world is themselves, everyone else is small—even God.
Perhaps joy eludes you because you aren’t seeking Jesus deeply enough. Joy is something that needs to be fought for through focusing on our relationship with Jesus—and others—and fighting the sin of self.
For many years I believed joy was just a feeling I should have because I knew the Lord. I even talked to Him regularly throughout the day. They were more like fast-pitched, desperation prayers than they were real conversation. I wanted Him to magically fix everything hard so I could have joy.
There are so many mom blogs that address “joy in the mundane”, “joy in motherhood”, “find joy in homemaking”, etc. I even created a blog years ago that became rather successul that I named Joyful Mothering. The problem is, none of those places are where the root of joy is found. Sure, we’ll find moments of joy, but not overflowing lasting joy.
The Secret on How to Fight for Joy
The secret to joy is remaining in the love of Jesus by keeping His commands. The commands are to love God and one another as I have loved you. (John 15:9-13). Perhaps we are too busy living for ourselves, and we won’t find the joy of the Lord there.
If you have a servant’s heart and serving others comes naturally to you, yet you struggle to find joy, it’s time for a heart check. There is a “why” behind every good thing we do. If our motives are to give so that we receive, we won’t find joy there.
The Bible speaks about several things that can steal our joy. It doesn’t always use the exact phrase “steal your joy,” but it warns about attitudes that can drain our joy. It also warns about mindsets and external influences that can take away the joy God wants us to have. Here are a few key ones:
1. Sin & Guilt
“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” — Psalm 32:3
Sin distances us from God, and guilt weighs heavy on our hearts. But confession and repentance restore joy (Psalm 51:12).
2. Worry & Anxiety
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” — Philippians 4:6
Worry shifts our focus from God to our problems, draining us of joy.
3. Comparison & Envy
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” — Proverbs 14:30
Looking at what others have instead of being grateful for our own blessings can rob us of contentment and joy.
4. Ungratefulness
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Joy and gratitude are connected. When we stop being thankful, joy fades.
5. Negative Thinking & Complaining
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure.”* — Philippians 2:14-15
A complaining heart focuses on what’s wrong rather than what’s right, leading to frustration instead of joy.
6. Spiritual Attack
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” — John 10:10
The enemy wants to steal our joy, but Jesus offers fullness of life.
7. Busyness & Distraction
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.” — Luke 10:41-42
Being too busy, even with good things, can pull us away from time with Jesus, the true source of joy.
8. Unforgiveness & Bitterness
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:31-32
Holding onto offense keeps us stuck in hurt instead of living in joy.
9. Hopelessness & Discouragement
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” — Psalm 42:11
Joy fades when we lose sight of hope. But refocusing on God restores it.
10. Disconnection from God
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy.” — Psalm 16:11
True joy is found in God’s presence. When we drift away, joy diminishes.
When we recognize the things that are robbing us of joy, we can tackle them so we can restore joy back to our lives.
Which one of these really spoke to you?
Love,
Christin
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