I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes saying “yes” to God can be intimidating and scary, especially when you don’t have all the answers up front. This is how I felt six months ago when God first tapped my husband and me on the shoulder and whispered “world missions” in our ear. Before knowing what that meant, I prepared for the most drastic thing: moving overseas. God has given us a heart for Africa, one I couldn’t explain to you if I tried.
Africa
Have you ever woken up one day and found yourself burdened for something you didn’t have before? Yeah, kinda like that.
So as the idea of moving overseas turned over in my head, I began to feel soul-sick at the thought of not wanting to move over to Africa. Do I really love God if I can’t drop everything and go? Oh friends, I battled with the “yes”. There were so many unanswered questions and so many uncertainties. Bottom line was, I didn’t want to move to Africa.
My husband, somewhere in there, had made the observation that we couldn’t go anywhere until our debt was paid off. We both decided that having our debt paid off would be a confirmation from God. My husband said, “We’ll need about $50,000.” That number goes above our debt number; the extra would have been for travel, etc. He then began to explain how he could labor and toil and have the debt paid off in 3-4 years. I said, “No. The confirmation that it is from God would have to be a miraculous pay off. Something only He could do.”
But, over the course of the next few months, our hearts began to shift. We were beginning to see clearly the work God had laid out for us. He gave me peace that, no, moving to Africa wasn’t in the cards for us. That wasn’t exactly what He had in mind. {Enter major relief here}!
Would I have gone? Absolutely. Would I have been terrified? You bet. But I would have been more terrified of not doing what God asked me to do. I know I would have never rested!
Waiting and Watching
Originally, I thought my calling was to simply give birth to lots of children and raise them up in the Lord. It was an easy, natural process for me. But there was another side of mothering that I couldn’t shake.
It wasn’t long after I had my fifth baby that I began to feel a stirring for something more. And it wasn’t necessarily to have another baby. In fact, I kept making myself think that maybe we should, but I never felt that compelling that I did with the others.
God was moving me to a new season of motherhood.
My husband and I began to explore the possibility of adopting from Africa. This was the stirring we had for missions in Africa. It wasn’t to move there–it was to adopt from there.
When we got that resounding “yes” from God, we began doing research. We weren’t immediately driven to apply. It took us a couple of months to research the right agencies {because working with the right agency is a matter of ethics, I found out}.
But clearly, God had not laid an urgency on our hearts to apply right away. We both felt just a waiting in our spirits. So we waited.
At the end of April, life was put on pause as we mourned the death o fmy father-in-law. It is a long string of events that led up to that point of passing, but we took a couple of weeks off from regular “life” and simply grieved.
Mid-way through May we received a phone call from my mother-in-law. It seems my father-in-law left us a parting gift—of $50,000!
I was shocked. At that moment, upon hearing this news, two things came to mind immediately: we could pay off our debt and we could fund our adoption.
You remember the number my husband mentioned before, right? $50,000. If that doesn’t scream confirmation, I don’t know what does!
I considered not sharing specific numbers here. But the truth is, the impact of the glory of God would not be as great without being specific.
We Said “Yes!”
What unfolded throughout these months was God moving after we said “yes”. Saying yes often means not having all the answers up front. Saying yes means having courage and having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid; it means you’re stepping out to do what God asks, even though you’re terrified!
I was terrified of the thought of moving to Africa and being shocked by a culture change I have never known. But when I finally stopped fighting God on it and surrendered, that’s when He began to shift our hearts to what He was really trying to say. I was allowing my fears to amplify over God’s own voice. I couldn’t even hear him clearly because I was consumed by fear.
When we say “Yes” to God, He will move in ways we never imagined! I never imagined we would adopt from Africa, but I am SO excited about the journey He is taking us on.
