Encouraging moms to savor the beauty of home & life in Christ

Wait, Watch, Wait

Christin Slade Avatar

Adoption means: Wait. Watch. Wait.
That has been the cycle these past weeks.

Wait for word. Watch as other families bring their children home. Wait on God.

Just in this part of the process it’s been: Three months. Two more months. Six more weeks {and counting}.

The whole of the process has been a journey of 17 months thus far.

M and C

All this time we continue to wait between communication on our case. And this last part? This last part is when we are supposed to get that answer so we can move to the next step. But that answer just isn’t coming. And no updates on where we stand are offered.

So we wait. I cry. I hope. I trust. I cry some more. I feel deeply disappointed and at times, forgotten. I feel forgotten. Like our girls future was shelved and we are the laughing stock in the adoption world. As if we’re mocked and powerless to do a thing about it.

My husband and I feel strongly that God does not want to us to bring in outside help at this time. So, while we watch others call their government representatives to fight for them, God calls us to wait on Him. And I feel helpless, and honestly, somewhat of a bad mother.

And I’m not saying what other families are doing is wrong. I’m saying if we did that after God specifically called us to wait, it’d be wrong for us.

My heart aches and longs to fight on behalf of our girls, but instead God is calling us to be still, and wait on Him. He’s doing the fighting.

Instead, we’re fighting battles of discouragement, hopelessness, and impatience. And quite honestly, some depression.

Sometimes I feel like this whole thing is a bad dream. You know, when you’re standing there naked and everyone’s staring at you? Maybe laughing? I feel like my weak faith is exposed and as everyone brings their children home, the joke’s on me.

The voices haunt me,

“Maybe you should step out and do something more.”

“Maybe you should fight harder.”

“Maybe you should pray for a specific date.”

“That’s what everyone else is doing, and look, they’re getting results.”

It’s so hard not to think that we’re doing everything wrong because everyone else is getting results. But I also know that because the way God has called us to is so counter to what we want to do, it must be right. When thoughts of taking action flood my mind, I grow uneasy; uncomfortable. And God whispers, “Be still and know I’m here. I have not forgotten.” It’s subtle, though, and it could easily be missed if the louder voices were given permission to take over.

And if you’re getting tired of reading different renditions of the same topic, I understand. I’m writing for those who might be coming up behind me in their adoption and need to know they aren’t alone.

Another day has passed. Another week gone. Still we wait.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Coffee Break

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Christin Slade Avatar
  1. Abigail Braaten Avatar
    Abigail Braaten

    Oh Christin, we aren’t getting tired of reading about your adoption process… instead it is opportunity for us to join you in prayer & pray that God will continue to encourage your hearts as you live this season of waiting. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

    1. Christin Avatar
      Christin

      Thank you Abigail, that means a lot to me. I cherish your prayers. xo

  2. Rosann Avatar

    I have found as I’ve been in seasons of waiting upon The Lord, it’s during the wait that God seems to be doing the most work. In us. In our circumstances. In the people around us. I believe God is using this wait time so you’ll be better prepared, so your girls will be better prepared, so your family will be better prepared. I’ve not adopted, but I would imagine bringing not just one, but two new hearts into your home will stir up serious change between those walls, and will require an unfathomable amount of patience and grace from everyone. Could He be using this time to strengthen certain character traits in you and your family so when your gotcha date finally arrives, you’ll be fully equipped? It’s so hard when we know in our mind God has a plan and it’s good! Yet our heart and our flesh are so uncertain. God is giving you a story to share with others – there is no testimony without that test. I know I’m kind of rambling, but I hope I’ve offered some comfort and encouragement and not an eye roll. My heart aches for you, friend. I am praying with you on this adoption daily. I just know your breakthrough is coming. (((Hugs)))

    1. Rosann Avatar

      Lol! I meant to say, “and not to have gotten an eye roll from you.” 🙂

    2. Christin Avatar
      Christin

      No eye roll here. I’m sure that’s probably the case but it’s no less hard. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if EVERYONE was going through the process the same way we are. But, alas, no two cases are alike. It’s so very hard not to wonder what in the world is going on and why it’s taking so long, just in the natural. It’s hard not being able to see. It’s not just the wait — it’s not having an end in sight that makes it extra hard.
      Thank you, thank you for your prayers. They help keep me standing and pressing on in prayer and in the everyday. Some days are better then others, but when a Thursday comes and goes with no answers still, it’s another week gone–it’s just hard.

  3. Angie Avatar
    Angie

    God is never late, rarely early, but NEVER late. He is the God of what seems to be the last minute. He’s coming! He will blow your expectations out of the water. Hold on. He’s on His way.

  4. Barbie Avatar

    Lifting you and your husband up in my prayers tonight! I cannot imagine how hard this waiting is for you.

    1. Christin Avatar
      Christin

      Thank you, Barbie! xo

  5. Peggy Avatar

    Christin! Believe it or not I am right there with you! We are waiting for a court date from Uganda to pick up one sweet little boy whom we have never met but totally love and our hearts are aching to hold him. When I have read about people feelinglike this I really did not believe them, but now I get it. Anyway, the process drags on waaaaay longer than we anticipated. We thought we would be bringing him home this past spring, then for sure this past summer. Fall?? Nope. Now they are predicting January!! I am in tears to even write this. I get it. And we are not doing anything to push the process, we are trusting God, but my faith is week and discouragement and despair are there, and, yes, sometimes it is down right depressing. I know God is working, I know He has THE plan, but the waiting is so hard. So, just wanted to share that, for whatever it’s worth. He catches all of our tears. I know we don’t each other, but I send you a hug.

    1. Christin Avatar
      Christin

      Oh Peggy, bless you. Yes, the waiting is difficult but the Lord will not make it in vain. I believe that. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. xo

  6. Leslie Avatar

    Hi Christin,My heart goes out to you and I will pray for your journey in the waiting room. I am no stranger to waiting! My husband and I had tried for 7 years to have children (we do have a baby girl with Jesus), and suddenly after entering the adoption process (which we’ve wanted to start for years but wasn’t financially able) God has given us not one but two children, siblings ages 2 & 3!!! Long story, but a huge honor and blessing. We are still in the process of finalizing the adoption although they’ve lived with us and have been “ours” for 5 months now. Our hearts long for them to legally be our children, and it’s not always easy mentally to completely wholeheartly attach when it’s not a set in stone…. But we have to remember that God did give them to us and we trust Him to fulfill His promise completely!

    You have a wonderful blog that has ministered tremendously to me, and I will certainly lift your adoption process and children in waiting up to God!
    Blessings,
    Leslie

    1. Christin Avatar
      Christin

      Bless you Leslie. I honestly a little ashamed of my lack of patience. So many people have waited so much longer than me for various things in their lives. I thank you for your prayers and pray God truly uses this time to mature and stretch me. <3

  7. Delana Stewart Avatar

    HI Christin,We can totally relate to how you are feeling. We also felt called to wait on the Lord and his timing. In our case it took a really long time nearly a decade (hopefully for you it won’t be so long). But we learned a lot during that time about who God is and what our focus needed to be. And in the end we learned that His timing really was worth waiting for…and wiser than we could have imagined.
    http://delanasworld.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/a-season-of-waiting/
    Blessings on your journey!
    Delana

  8. momofnine Avatar

    Adoption is such a waiting game. But, after adopting 5 children both domestically and internationally we finally came to the realization that it is God’s way of letting us “labor” with our adopted children just as we labor with our biological children. Prayers going your way.

  9. Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates Avatar

    Prayer and huge hugs for you, friend! I can only imagine just how difficult this is for you. I truly believe that God is working and preparing you as only He can, but OH that waiting is so terribly hard. Please know that you are loved and prayed for and we want to hear your posts so we know just how to pray for you.

    1. Christin Avatar
      Christin

      Thank you so much, friend. Miss you xo

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