Me and My Mama Mouth

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Today I have a special guest post for you from Karen Ehman, author of LET.IT.GO.: How to Stop Running the Show & Start Walking in Faith

When I’m trying to control someone or some situation, I’ve noticed I have a little trouble controlling my tongue. For instance, the other day the dishes needed to be done. If I’d been the one at the sink, I’d have washed them in the proper sequence I learned in Home Economics class—from least to most soiled. Instead, my son, a smart preteen, was up to the challenge.

He didn’t give me an attitude when asked to do the dishes. He wasn’t disrespectful, didn’t drag his feet, and was doing the job. So why was I tempted to tell him in a harsh tone he was doing it wrong? Because he was failing to do it my way.

He started with the grimy pots and pans, then moved to the plates and silverware. Finally, he had to bubble up more water to spit-shine the glasses last. While working he lolly-gagged, trying to stack some plastic cups in a pyramid. As I watched his unconventional ways, I could feel irritation welling up inside. An unkind reaction was itching to come out; one that was not tempered with the Holy Spirit.

If I had not caught myself, I could have easily let my momma mouth take over and blurted out:
“What are you doing? Don’t you know it uses way more water to wash the dishes in that order? Plus the water is filthy now!”

“Stop playing stack-up with those cups. Ugh! Why do you always have to play while you work? You’re so slow.”

What was really going on? I wanted to be a control freak and fire off words that would have conveyed unspoken thoughts. I think the only way to do the dishes is my way. I see different as wrong. I interpret a preteen being a preteen, with a slight distraction of fun, as “slow.”

Any time I unload on junior (or anyone for that matter), it has the potential to damage our relationship and plant seeds in his mind of his mom’s view of him, whether verbalized or implied (lazy, wasteful, distracted, and slow). It does not, as today’s key verse states, come close to resembling a woman who “opens her mouth with wisdom and speaks with kindness on her tongue.”

This does not make for a happy home and I’ve come to know that it’s better if these scenarios go down much differently. So let’s back up the minivan and replay that scene again with a fresh dose of perspective and a God-honoring, Spirit-controlled response. As I see my son doing the dishes in an illogical order, I can make a mental note to myself to explain a way to do it next time that will save water, money, and time.

When done, I can praise his efforts, keeping in mind his age and abilities. I can intentionally point out particulars in his unique method. “I saw the clever way you stacked those dishes. You always make work fun. I wish I were more like you.” I can mentally ask myself questions that will empower me to maintain calm emotions and keep my “mama mouth” in check. Like …

 

  • Does it matter now?
  • Will it matter tomorrow?
  • Will it affect eternity?
  • Is God trying to teach ME something? If so, what?
  • Can I pause and praise instead of interrupt and instigate?
  • Is there really an issue here that needs addressing with my child?
  • Or….am I just being a control freak and need to let it go?

The interaction would be a learning experience for both of us. It wouldn’t damage, it would nurture. It would be wise. Kind. And there would be no lost time, no regrets, and no need to call in the United Nations peace-keeping forces for intervention. This mama would be less control freak and more calm mom.

It might not come easily—trust me it usually doesn’t—but with the Holy Spirit, it is possible. We can learn to speak with godly wisdom and kindness. And then there won’t be any need for duct tape for the ole’ mama mouth!

Christin here…I can say with confidence and experience, and maybe you can relate–being a control freak is exhausting! Can I get an Amen?

Giveaway

Karen is giving away TWO copies of her new book “Let.It.Go.

All you need to do is leave a comment sharing why this book might be good for you.

You’re also entering into a chance to win a Kindle Fire. Drawing will be made from comments of all those participating from the blog tour. Woot!

The Details

Giveaway ends Wednesday at 11:59 EST. Winners of the book will be announced Friday!

U.S. Residents only please. (Sorry international friends!)

This book was given to me at Allume with no obligation to review. I voluntarily agreed to review book. Post does contain my Amazon affiliate link.

Comments

  1. Oh how I need this book! I read those questions and thought of how many times I’ve been prompted to ask those to myself in recent days, and recognizing that often I’ve simply been operating without thought to those issues. I am praying for wisdom in this area of mothering and also asking the Lord to redeem the hurt that I may have caused in my children’s lives when I have spoken without caution. It grieves my heart to think of it. I’m determined, however, to move forward with purpose in encourating the hearts of my children.

  2. Ouch. That scene could have been my teenage son & me. Except I’m not sure I would have bitten back the comments :( I need to read this book.
    ourmothershipadventures@gmail.com

  3. Wow. How many times do I come home from a conference or mountaintop experience and say I’m going to walk by faith. I give it all to Him and am going to trust Him to supply my needs and guide my path til the old human nature kicks in and I’m grabbing back the reigns to take control. Boy do I need to read this book to see if I can finally get victory over this bad habit I have of feeling like I need to care of everything and be IN CONTROL!!!!!

  4. Oh, do I ever need help controlling my tongue. This book would be such a blessing, hope to win :)

  5. JenniferChronister says:

    Thank you for posting this. This is something I have noticed myself doing with my children. I am still fairly new on my walk with Our Father and I still have a long way to go. Thank you for the advice.

  6. I’m a total controller! I need to read this book.

  7. I love this post- NEEDED it! And I know I need this book. Thanks for being so transparent about the momma mouth. I definitely need to work on mine.

  8. I am trying to win it for a friend.. She wanted to win this book so bad, so I am trying to win it too.

  9. I am constantly telling my inner self to keep my mouth shut, recognizing that I am a major control freak. Unfortunately, I don’t listen very often…like I can barely contain myself or something. I don’t know when it started for me but I very much want to change. This book would be timely.

  10. I am a major grudge holder and control freak!

  11. Elsa Turner says:

    The message today could have been written by me! I turn into such a controlling mama with my 3 year old and I know that I don’t usually stop and think about what it could do to his spirit and confidence and view of me! This book would be a blessing to have so I can start filling him praise instead of corrections!

  12. My mama mouth gets me into so much trouble. I would so appreciate this book as I am working on this very thing. I’m so grateful for this post today. Thank you :)

  13. I will certainly say Amen to that! It’s amazing how sometimes we really need an outside perspective to make us realize where we need to work on ourselves. Like being a control freak…I know I have issues but I never realized just how bad they are or how quickly and easily I let my “mama mouth” loose. It’s astonishing to see how difficult it is to change such a small thing (my tongue). I would love to read this book and learn more about how I can Let. It. Go. Thanks for the post Christin!

  14. Darla Bunyan says:

    I need this one! I definitely have issues with my mama mouth! LOL! thanks for the chance!

  15. My Mama mouth tends to be louder than it needs to be. HELP! And here’s an AMEN from me!

  16. Thank you, thank you for sharing this. The Lord has been dealing with me just this week in this exact area. I even spoke about it on my own blog yesterday, http://reflectinghisglory.com/?p=2002 I would love to read the book!

  17. CONTROL is my middle name. I want to change it! Thank you for the opportunity!

  18. I have a very hard time letting anything go, and I know that is wrong! Thank you :)

  19. Rebecca L. says:

    I am a control freak and would love to just control myself.

  20. Would love to win. I think I may just be a control freak myself. That sounds like a senario that may occur at my house. Then when it’s all over I wonder why I said “THAT!”

  21. Would love to win. Think I fit the description of a control freak… :)

  22. I would LOVE to win! This completely describes me! I need to learn to let go!!

  23. What a great reminder! Thanks for being ‘real’. I,too often speak before I think of the damage it can do!

  24. 5 children later and I’m still trying to control everything! What am I doing? And yes I am exhausted and need to let it go sometimes. Any help would be great.

  25. This book sounds like exactly what I have been praying about. I happened across this book twice today. I truly hope I get a copy of this book.

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